Proximity Friends

At a dinner several months ago with JTEs and English coordinators from different schools in my town, I stumbled upon a misconception Japanese people have about JETs. I was the only JET at my table and the group was discussing another JET who was sitting two tables behind us. (Actually, they were complaining about the JET - and they may have been doing the same thing about me at the other table.) They asked me a question about that particular person, and I said I didn't know because we never meet except at these mandatory dinners. "But aren't you friends?" they asked. "Of course not," I said. They were stunned. Apparently, they believed that all JETs on this island are good friends because we live in the same area, are ex-pats and have similar jobs. Nah, sorry.

Sure, there is a comfort in spending time with other JETs, especially in the beginning when Japan still seems so alien. We help each other and usually become good friends because of the time we share. On the other hand, if you consider the concept of grouping approximately a dozen strangers together, strangers who might never have wanted anything to do with one another, and asking them to get along, it seems a tad far-fetched. Dissent is bound to occur, then division, then discontent. Recall the Awaji Girls. There are exceptional cases like Will, Ryan and Gabe from last year, who everyone could get along with because they were relatable, likeable and good-natured. However, to assume JETs will form bonds with other JETs is assuming too much in my opinion. Before the last JET conference, Nakayama Sensei said, “You must be excited. It’s like a reunion for JETs.” On the contrary, Nakayama Sensei, I was dreading the conference for that reason. Quite frankly, some of the weirdest, most disagreeable people I’ve met in my life have been JETs. I would’ve avoided them like the plague back home and can’t imagine how they made it through the selection process. Here, though, it’s a different story. Oh, I can still avoid them, but since we’re all JETs, we’re all members of an elite group and we all occupy a limited space. Encounters are bound to happen.

Anyway, for you future JETs, this is something to note. Watch as small groups or cliques form in your JET communities, prefectures and towns. As this happens, though, the JET community will remain strong and available to you if you seek it. Certain selfless people will make sure there are plenty of activities you can attend. After all, we want to get along and have fun together. Even if we differ, we share a lot: perhaps most importantly a passion for Japan. Also, keep in mind that some of the best people you’ll ever meet will be JETs. At the same time, there are tons of JETs you’ll butt heads with. I don’t advocate befriending everyone – I certainly haven’t – just find the people who put you at ease.

話変わる

One of the biggest pet peeves I have is when people rub their Japanese abilities in my face. I asked someone for help with a Japanese sentence last night. I knew how to express the thought in a certain way and wanted to check if my sentence matched his. I said, “How do you say ~ in Japanese?” He’s been studying Japanese for many years; he even studied in college. I expect him to be superior, that’s why I asked for help. So, he gave me the answer (which I suspect is wrong anyway) and he went on to say, “Dude, you’ve been studying Japanese and you don’t know that?” Had he said this in my presence, I would’ve lost it. I made it clear in the chat that I was unhappy. Perhaps it seems innocent to a reader who doesn’t know the person, but I spent 5 days on the road with him to Kyushu and know what kind of tone he’d use, because he said, “You don’t know THAT?” several times during the trip. (No, I can’t explain why I let it slide last year and am so bothered by it now. Maybe because of the effort I’ve put into studying since then.)

On another occasion I was with a different friend who has studied Japanese for six years and tried to say, “I enjoy reading” to a Japanese person. I made a mistake and my friend started to chuckle next to me, then corrected the sentence.

OK, so I respect people who have learned Japanese, one of the more difficult languages in the world, but if you act like that, you don’t deserve anyone’s respect. It’s disgusting that people would respond in such ways, degrading instead of encouraging. Especially considering that the two people mentioned above have spent twice as long studying as I have. They should use their knowledge to support fellow learners instead of finding opportunities to gloat. There’s another person I know who I wouldn’t even try to speak Japanese in front of because he’s a childish jerk who seems like the type who’d enjoy bashing other people’s Japanese since he feels his is perfect.

Gabe and Will are the two people I cite above all others as examples for how skilled Japanese speakers should treat fellow learners. In the year I knew them, not once did they belittle me for making a mistake or asking a question, not once did they demonstrate their superiority just to prove they were better than me. They encouraged me at every turn, and I’m grateful to have known them. I will emulate their behavior when interacting with novice Japanese speakers.

Observation

Amazing day. First real day of spring, I'd say. A warm wind. Tomorrow should be just as nice.

I had my birthday dinner last night. All the guests spoke Japanese for the majority of the time. I've notice something when I'm conversing in Japanese. If I don't understand what another person has said and ask them to repeat it, they express the the thought using different words that they believe will be easier for me. Had they just repeated exactly what they had said before, I'd probably have an easier time than trying to digest a whole new set of words. This has made me wonder if I do the same thing when talking to non-native speakers in English. It's kind of irritating and I'll cut it out for now on.

What's Happened?

Nakayama Sensei says I should update my blog. I honestly have nothing to write about. I'm living my life and how interesting can my life be? Things that fascinated me before in Japan are simply part of my life now, and seem no more exceptional than brushing my teeth or buying a bento from Hokka Hokka Tei. That's a major reason it's become harder to write this blog. 慣れたよ。

I survived pneumonia, in case you're wondering. I've taken a few trips to Osaka. I've met some nice people and drank some nice alcohol. The weather's finally warming up. Soon the cherry blossoms will bloom. It's my favorite time of year. I'm relatively happy and have no major complaints. I still don't like my neighbors though.

A Midori and Marunaka are being built near my apartment. That's big news.

Yesterday I took my Japanese book and studied on a bench overlooking the port. The sun hit my back, the water shimmered before me. Along the road, people were sitting in their parked cars. That's the thing to do here, I guess. They park and rest in their cars for several minutes, sometimes hours, then drive off without ever getting out.

Two days ago I went to a reggae event in my town held by a friend. I really don't like that music and left soon after arriving. I'd gone alone, so it was easy to walk away.

I've been watching Shitcase Cinema a lot on YouTube. Funny, funny stuff. I highly recommend it.

This week I'm off to Tokyo to visit a friend and take in the sights. I booked a hotel in Kabuki-cho only to find out later that it's the most "dangerous" place in Japan. I'm thinking that means I'll be in danger, but I'm wrong. It just means there's a lot of drunk, annoying hosts with their big orange hair and trashy suits and a few prostitutes. Walk in the park.

Next month I'll go on another rafting trip with Steve and the JETs. I'm looking forward to it. There's a healthy number of people I've rubbed the wrong way coming along.

Tonight I will have Japanese lessons followed by a birthday dinner. My birthday isn't for a few more weeks, but some of my friends want to take me out early.

And that's that.