A Recent Encounter with Japanese TV

I woke up and flipped on the teli. I don't often do that since I understand about 2% of what's going on, but I gave it a shot tonight. Everything seemed in order: there was a reticent female student and a well-meaning male teacher. I couldn't quite understand the nature of their relationship because they spent an awful lot of time together and even shared a house. I gathered that he was a kendo instructor and she was his pupil, but that's about it. Anyway, I was straining to get a handle on the situation when suddenly the man walked into a park and started talking to a deer. Much to my dismay, the deer talked back. And he had one of those deep, authoritarian Japanese voices.

Now, I realize in our crazy, crazy world the idea of a man talking to a mechanical deer just doesn't have the same impact it might have had a few decades ago, but I was dumbfounded. How did this show go from a coming of age tale with kendo to deer talking? I wasn't at all prepared for that plot development. And this deer, man, this deer was the creepiest thing you'll ever see talking. Nightmares will ensue.

After that I stopped trying to figure out the show. Also after that the teacher and student had deer heads. No kidding. Every time they looked in the mirror, there were giant deer heads where their normal heads should've been. If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, you're not alone.

To summarize: weird TV show = nightmares for Patrick.

And that was just scripted TV; the variety shows are stranger. I can't even begin to describe those. Aha, but when I say "strange" I mean that in the nicest way.

OK, now there's a show on about a high school relay team struggling to find themselves while training for the big race. Let's see what kind of whacky adventures are in store for me. They'll probably end up being crab people.

One More Thing

Last Sunday I walked through Jusco, which is the Japanese version of Wal-Mart, with another JET named Dayna, who, according to my girlfriend, looks too similar to my ex. (Of course, to my girlfriend every Caucasian girl with long brown hair looks like my ex.) Anyway, we ran in to about 50 of my students, each of them shocked to see me with a girl. They all laughed, some of them held up their pinky finger--the symbol for girlfriend for some reason--and they all commented on how KAWAI Dayna is.

Long story short, every student in every class from Monday to Wednesday that week bombarded me with questions about my "girlfriend" the moment I walked in the room. And no matter how many times I said "friend", it just never sunk in. I did get a lot of the boys admitting that Dayna is beautiful, much to their embarrassment.

Dayna, witty as always, told me we should hold hands and hug next time, to give the kids something more to talk about, you see?

Why Not?

I forgot to mention that I re-contracted. I'll remain in Japan until August '09. However, if I re-contract next year, I'll be here until August '10. That's still very much up in the air.

Update

I live! Let's see, what've I missed. There was Valentine's Day. In Japan girls give boys chocolates, even to boys they don't like. What a strange thing. They call it Giri-choco. A month later, on White Day, it's the reverse: boys give girls chocolate. None of my students gave me chocolate and I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or bad thing.

I went to the Naked Man Festival in Okayama. Not as exciting as it sounds. A bunch of men wearing oversized diapers prance around for hours in the freezing cold, then jostle for a stick in a temple. Whoever gets the stick wins 10K. There is near a thousand men all pressing and squeezing in an enormous mosh pit. On average one person dies every year. This year there was a large group of JETs participating. They're all crazy, at least that's what I thought as I shivered through the night. One of those JETs broke his arm. I was fine, though.

The weather in Sumoto had been improving, then dropped through the floor. In the next few weeks, Spring should overtake the cold.

I had a Movie Night at my apartment last Friday. To get into my apartment complex, you have to ring me and I have to buzz you up. For some reason my visitors always forget my apartment number and call my neighbor on accident. Friday, they rang her three times in under an hour. It's unintentional, but hilarious. Good times. We somehow crammed 9 people in my tiny room. We watched Army of Darkness and Shaun of the Dead (sorry, no Japanese) and played MarioKart.

I might go snowboarding this weekend. I'll let you know how it is.

Karaoke Carnage

Who says karaoke gets old? These are photos from the Awaji Folks' recent ownage of Southern Karaoke's double-decker karaoke room. Kathy, in her kindness and pity, gave me the pictures to share. Thank you, Kathy, wherever you are.

Also, since blogger.com's picture hosting is a constant pain in my ass, I am now using photobucket. As you'll notice, the pictures' right edges have been cropped by blogger.com, so simply click on them to be whisked away to the album at photobucket and see the complete pictures. I know I could've just provided a link to the album and not have posted all these pics below, but where's the fun in that?



At dinner before the karaoke began




Chris and Phil doing their duet




Ferocity




Taking care of business with Metallica's "Fuel"




Phil and Erin




WIll owned the mic




Encore!




Best part of the night. Will and Chris actually knocked down Mike while singing the "I get knocked down" song




It made me cry too, Mike




Gabe doing a great cover of Radiohead...or eating two microphones at once




A little grab-assing before the jam session




Amy and Erin at it again




The newbies in town: Ali and Wendy




One of only two Japanese people in the room




The passion, the power. Will and Kate




Choosing a song - or, Brotherly love




Gabe and Mike conspiring




After a night of carnal pleasures

When you play dare with Japanese junior high students

So I guess I should've seen this one coming.

I designed a lesson that was something like dare but with the phrase "Will you ~ ?" We broke the class into groups of six. Starting with group one, we asked the students to choose another group and request an action using the target phrase. Will you this? Will you that? I had it all worked out in my mind. The students would ask the other group to do silly, challenging, embarrassing acts that would stimulate and entertain everyone like "Will you sing?" or "Will you speak English." If the challenged group refused to act, then one of their teammates moved to the group that challenged them and the group with the most students at the end of the game won. I had it all worked out.

So the first challenge was this: "Will you kill people?"

We told them that's not allowed.

Next it was, "Will you touch the ceiling?"

That's too hard.

By this point the students were already bored. Then they came back to the touch challenge by saying, "Will you touch Kenji's stick?"

That got them moving and the next group's challenge was "Will you touch Mrs. Fuji's face mask", which she happened to be wearing that day. Another group asked "Will you touch Hiro?" I sighed.

The game died quickly after that, and I was sent back to the drawing board. Oh, brother!

Violence in the Staffroom

Seiun's a pretty calm school compared to what my junior high was: a place where drugs were rampant, gangs loitered around the handball courts, vulgarity spread like a cancer, and fights were a daily occurrence. The worst I had seen around here was a tiff between first year students and some bullying. That is, until one of the teachers attacked a student.

About two months ago, I was sitting in the narrow walkway with the computers when, from around the corner, I heard a teacher begin screaming at someone. I paid little attention until the teacher dragged a student with him into the small area where I was sitting. The teacher I saw is a loud, stern, balding man who carries himself brashly and never talks to me aside from the occasional times we've exchange mandatory good mornings. He had a grip on the back of the boy's neck and shook him like a doll while hollering. This was the first time I'd seen a teacher explode on a student - normally, they're quite passive. And that characteristic prevailed in every other teacher at that moment, watching the event in stunned silence, as their peer continued to belabor the boy. He violently tore off the bag the boy was wearing and slammed in on the ground, then pressed hard on his neck so the boy bowed further and further.

Eventually, he shoved the boy back into the hallway. I surveyed the room. Some of the teachers appeared uneasy, but went back to their work. I asked what the boy had done and was told that he called the teacher a bad name. A few minutes later the teacher returned to the staffroom without the boy and joined a group of male teachers. Once with them he began to laugh.

I was surprised, to say the least, but this is a different culture. Had the teacher tried that in America, not only would he have earned his school a massive lawsuit and been fired as a result, he could have faced prison time. This guy, on the other hand, didn't miss a day of work after the attack. I've heard it used to be worse, that teachers were allowed to beat students, and that that norm has only recently changed. Then again, it's the same in America. Not long ago American teachers could hit students.

I'm not going to get into this debate; I'm just here to tell you what I saw.